Film Noir Critique thread

To save the scoring thread getting clogged with commentary I'm going to put my full critiques up here in a separate thread. Feel free to discuss, add you own critiques, etc. etc.

“Kicked to the Curb” by @d0gg0d
Technical Score (1-10):7
Creative Score (1-10):6

Great composition, the angled design is cool... real shame the road and footpath aren't lined up in the corners to make a solid diagonal. Nice concept, her lack of facial expression really kills it. Noir - needs more contrast, the central figure could have been highlighted and the area around her darkened. Tells a story.

“Broken Heart” by @coolcat
Technical Score (1-10):5
Creative Score (1-10):7

The foreground is great, a nice composition of her arm over her facecreates a bold line against the negative space on the left side. Unfortunately the same attention hasn't been paid to the background with the piano player looking like rigor mortis has set in, and that candelabra just plonked down in full frame. Noir - Same as above, main figure has great contrast with her skin and clothing but the background is a fairly even grey. Doesn't tell much of a story, _why_ is she clasping her forehead ?

“The Intruder” by @slayerjr
Technical Score (1-10):8
Creative Score (1-10):7

Nice composition, keeping the angle subtle really works. The main character needs more focus, she's tiny in that huge tub and should be more central for impact. Noir - Hits the nail on the head for me, light and dark playing around just a shame the lurking figure isn't superblack. Tells a good story.

“Now That We’re Alone” by @bobdawg
Technical Score (1-10):9
Creative Score (1-10):6

Overall a nice piece, and a classic noir scenario. The positioning of the rear martini glass seems off, somehow it looks bigger and taller than the one in the foreground which shouldn't happen (also I don't know if those are a product or hand made but the stems are really thick). What ruined it for me is the smoking gun on the chair, it seems very thrown in. How is a gun fired so recently it's still smoking while someone's pouring a drink ? This would have been much more effective without the smoke. Noir - definitely, classic, contrasty. I find the story confusing, what's the gun all about ?

“Fey Noir” by @theweezel
Technical Score (1-10):7
Creative Score (1-10):8

Hooray for a departure from black and white, I really dig the blueish hue and the pop of the fireplace. A nice angled composition but this time it's from the perspective not the camera. The frame forms a nice triangle leading from the left edge off to the upper right leaving the carpet as an interesting counterpoint. I feel like both figures could be further left though, forming stonger lines by being placed adjecent to the 'pillars' of the fireplace. Noir - Totally, the one element that lets it down is the faces don't pop especially the male, perhaps a streak of light across the image at head height mirroring the same perspective lines (which would be like her face and chest narrowing down to his face on the right). Tells a story.

“Something Ain’t Right” by @littlesparrows
Technical Score (1-10):4
Creative Score (1-10):9

Ooh this one is sooooooo close. I love the idea, and i'm just assuming he's an orc... unfortunately the depth of focus is really overdone and he's just a blurry mess. Noir - absolutely, composition, story, contrast, it's all goodl.

“One Way Ticket” by @den15s
Technical Score (1-10):6
Creative Score (1-10):6

This has everything you need, great triangular composition with negative space, contrast... but it's just not right. The depth of field is to middle ground, it needs to be shallower or heavier so the mansion isn't just blurry in the background. I think what really kills this one is the main figure being full frame, if he were either closer to the camera taking up more frame (possibly facing camera), or further down the drive amongst the dead he wouldn't just be floating at the front center frame. Noir - classic and you definitely know what happened here.

“Mistress in Red… I Really Shouldn’t Have Crossed Her” by @aftyrbyrn
Technical Score (1-10): 8
Creative Score (1-10): 7

I can't get over her broken wrist, so uncomfortable. Nice linear composition and balance between her popping in red and the shadow of the other figure. Very nice use of the blinds. The spare clip on the sill seems thrown in, specially since it's loaded. Noir - definitely, contrast, menacing vibe. I find the story a bit confusing though, without the title I wouldn't know what had happened, I'd assume she's meeting someone (if he's dead tilt the head back or forward and nix his cigarette smoke).

“Coonhound Confidential!” by @nyghtwolf
Technical Score (1-10): 5
Creative Score (1-10):8

This one made me giggle. The composition is all over the place, I think the gag took over the design a bit too much on this one. Noir - mostly 😀 The shadow on the wall is classic and it's got nice contrast but it lacks the hero element this scene could have highlighted. Definitely tells a story.

“Dollars, Drinks and a Dame!” by @mars
Technical Score (1-10): 6
Creative Score (1-10): 4

The combination of the wood panelling and the overdone lighting from the blinds makes it look like a spreadsheet threw up on the image. Vapid facial expression on the female character and the shadowy figure behind the door is so blurred he looks like a roswell alien peeping tom. The rule of thirds has gone crazy in this image and it's a great example of why you _shouldn't_ art by numbers. Noir - Classic Noir image but packed with so many elements nothing is really happening.

“The Seductress and the Lie” by @miarka
Technical Score (1-10): 9
Creative Score (1-10): 8

This one has it all, great composition with just a slight angle, fairly well balanced with a contrast between the character and the space around her. The one thing letting it down is a lack of shadow, possibly needs just a bit of vignetting especially if as basedo n the title she's supposed to be manacing. Noir - ticks all the boxes, bold character, play of light, the femme fatale, just needs a little more of that darkness to really pop.

“The Detective” by @ladyburger
Technical Score (1-10): 6
Creative Score (1-10): 9

Really glad to see someone go outside the box into tech noir. Overall creatively I love this image, technically not so much. The composition isn't awful but it doesn't say 'crime scene photo' the way it could, and why is that drone scanning a covered body ? I think going so wide with the frame might have been the killer here on composition, there's not enough flow around the image which can be ok in a movie where things are in motion but doesn't play great in a static image. I would suggest perhaps lowering the background lighting (shops etc) to create that noir pool of darkness around the central image then let the lights on the drone really pop and have some off-screen lighting highlight the detectives face. Noir - Definitely, plenty of light and shadow, tells a dark story, I might have popped the contrast up a bit, and either desaturated or hypersaturated it.

“Black Widow” by @drgnmztr
Technical Score (1-10): 8
Creative Score (1-10): 8

Very classic. The red lips are a fun addition to what is a very typical noir detective scene. The main issue I have is that I think it could be cropped in a fair bit, theres a lot of dead space on the left that the lines of light from the blinds drag the eye to. Another option would be to have some evidence of death (e.g. a corpses hand reaching up to the arm of the couch) and a spot highlight (or even the back of the couch where there already is some light). Noir - definitely, has it all from the smoky room to the harsh light and shadow... the story could be pushed that little bit further.

“Relax Pal” by @Drazzilkniks
Technical Score (1-10): 6
Creative Score (1-10): 6

This has all the elements of an interesting image but none of the soul. The use of ambient lighting (possibly an HDRI?) has really killed any light/shadow in the image. Because it has a poor tonal range to start with even a trip to photoshop couldn't do much to noir up this one. The background character needs to be doing something more interesting, what's he there for ? Should he be slumped over the hood beaten up ? Should he be making a vulgar gesture at our protagonist ? Carrying an obvious payoff ? I'm guessing from the head holding he's been hit ? Noir: While there's a lack of shadow there are light and dark elements but the story is a bit vague.

“The Devil’s Den” by @jbuckland1984
Technical Score (1-10): 8
Creative Score (1-10): 8

I've put my personal taste aside for this one. Overall it's a good image, another strong use of an angled composition. All the characters and elements seem scaled well which is something I notice being done wrong a lot in renders. The three things I can easily pull out are her expression, his expression, and her hair all look odd. Other than that I think it's a great render, with a huge amoung of attention to detail. A little busy maybe. Noir - This is a tough one, it's the classic time period, it's got some nice contrast (loving that one bright light in the middle top) and she's arguably a femme fatale ? All I can say is I'm not taking points for lack of noir on this one.

“Just One More Thing” by @hawkeye
Technical Score (1-10): 7
Creative Score (1-10): 8

Pulp Fiction meets Tech noir. Strong composition with a well done forced perspective. Could do with the right side being cropped down as the large red square is distracting, maybe a little more negative space on the left. Overall I really like this which is why I suggested he enter it. Always good to have some spin on a classic. Noir: high contrast, strong protaognist, faux film grain and that tech noir spin, it's all good.

“The Trainyard” by @silverboax
Technical Score (1-10): 10
Creative Score (1-10): 10

Apparently we're supposed to score ourselves 10/10. I won't give a full critique though I know what I did 😀

“Microphone” by @greym
Technical Score (1-10): 7
Creative Score (1-10): 6

I quite like this for what it is, a bold central figure with a play of light and shadow. I would like to have seen even more contrast with starker shadows on the wall behind her and in contrast the highlights are overblown. I'm guessing this was a heavy hand in post production with the contrast tool. Noir: Classic noir loung singer, unfortunately the image is a little too portrait, throw some curtains and a saxophone player in there 😉