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I posted these in the Art Showcase group, but I wanted to make sure everyone had a chance to see them. Not sure how many comicbook fans we have here...
In case the text is hard to read, the full-res versions are available on my imgur by clicking on the individual images.
I like the look you're going for and I applaud your ambition but know that comics in "widescreen" aren't often done for a reason. The generally accepted reading method in western comics is left to right, top to bottom. Artists use this convention because it helps the work flow and leads the eye around the page with little effort with some experience. With a conventional portrait layout this method is easy because you can't go to far to the sides, you fill the width with a panel or two and then it's on down the page. The problem is then apparent when you switch to widescreen/landscape format as you have a lot of horizontal space to fill. In order to use it well a good artist will usually demark firm boundaries for inset panels and force the read order to become more apparent so that the images don't get lost in the noise of the page.
I like the poses and you've intentionally kept the whole scene dark (although I would have liked some more dramatic lighting) which keeps with the character but your layout is confusing. I can see what you've done here, looking at the main render and using the wasted/negative space to insert additional panels but without clear instruction to the reader it's difficult to understand how to read the page before reading it. Page one works fine as a splash page, there isn't too much to read and it flows well. Page 2 is where it gets confusing, my mind said start at the top left and follow it across, then the inner monologue leads me down the right side to the bottom right panel, where the page should end. But I haven't read the panel on the left side yet and I'm not sure when you want me to read it.
Page 3 works fine, it's split into 2 easily identifiable zones so it's top to bottom, left to right. But then we get to page 4 and I thought this would be an easy read looking at it initially but it really threw me. From what I can figure out, we read left to right along the top, then the bottom right panel and then skip back to the left side to read the rest, finishing the page on the panel on the bottom centre. This is a big "no-no" when creating a comic. Start in one corner and finish on the opposite, it's true of all comics the world over.
My tips would be to work on your layout, remember the rule "left to right, top to bottom" and define your panel edges more clearly. If you're creating a dark scene, perhaps have a boxed white border around your inset panels if you're going to use a splash page all the time. Let your dialogue lead the reader around the page but don't stray from the "rule", when you think you've set up your dialogue, draw an imaginary line through the story to make sure it flows easily for the reader. Perhaps change the colour of your page number logo, it detracts from the dialogue and isn't too important. Lastly, remember your poses and "camera" angle will also effect the story flow, having a person look in the wrong direction, throws the direction of the image off.
Remember people study and work for years to develop these skills, if you learn you will improve. I know reading through this diatribe makes it seem like I don't like the work but I do and I think you can do better. Keep up the good work!
Thanks for the constructive feedback. 🙂
I'd actually thought about at one point, to split the pages down the center with a sort of 'spine crease' like a typical comic book so as to make it easier for the reader to follow.
I had an 'editor' to help me with the dialogue and panel placement for the first three pages, but they quickly realized the scope of this project around page 4 and decided to pull out. So I just sort of started winging it. I initially wanted to get through the entire fight sequence before I took a break from this project but life got in the way and as typical I began to lose focus.
For the time being, I've shelved this project since I've began rendering in IRAY and none of the assets are set up with IRAY shaders. I intend to continue this project in the near future, and definitely appreciate your feedback, I will keep everything you've mentioned in mind when I get to working on the next few pages.
When you want to go back to this project, check out this article and you might be able to convert the materials to Iray.
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